Anxiety in Middle Schoolers: What Parents Need to Know

Middle school is a season of rapid change—new schools, shifting friendships, and growing academic pressures. While worry is normal, for some children these changes spark anxiety that interferes with daily life. Knowing the signs, differences between boys and girls, and treatment options can help parents support their child early and effectively.

Signs & Symptoms of Anxiety in Middle Schoolers

Anxiety can look very different from child to child. Common symptoms include:

• Physical: stomachaches, headaches, rapid heartbeat, fatigue

• Emotional: excessive worry, irritability, restlessness

• Behavioral: avoiding school, withdrawing from friends, difficulty focusing, sleep problems

Boys vs. Girls: How Anxiety Shows Up Differently

While all children can experience anxiety, research shows some gender differences:

• Girls

  • More likely to express worry verbally (“What if something bad happens?”)

  • Higher rates of social anxiety and perfectionism

  • May present with sadness or tearfulness alongside anxiety

• Boys

  • Anxiety often appears as irritability, anger, or defiance

  • More likely to avoid situations without explaining why

  • Physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches) may be emphasized over emotional concerns

Recognizing these patterns helps parents avoid mislabeling anxiety as “acting out” in boys or “being dramatic” in girls.

Non-Medication Treatments That Help

Not all children with anxiety need medication. Evidence-based non-medication treatments include:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps children challenge anxious thoughts and replace them with realistic ones.

2. Mindfulness & Relaxation: Breathing exercises, yoga, and guided imagery can calm the nervous system.

3. Lifestyle Support: Adequate sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise lower baseline anxiety levels.

4. Family Therapy: Teaches parents strategies to support children without reinforcing avoidance behaviors.

5. School Support Plans: Working with teachers to provide safe coping spaces or academic accommodations.

   
   

When to See a Psychiatrist

Consider consulting a child & adolescent psychiatrist if:

• Anxiety interferes with school attendance or performance

• Your child withdraws from friends or loses interest in activities they once enjoyed

• Physical symptoms (like headaches or stomachaches) persist despite medical clearance

• Therapy and lifestyle changes haven’t reduced symptoms

• Anxiety is accompanied by depression, self-harm thoughts, or severe behavioral changes

Psychiatrists can determine whether medication may help or guide a comprehensive treatment plan combining therapy, family support, and medical care when needed.

Anxiety in middle schoolers is common—but it’s not something your child has to “just grow out of.” With the right support, kids can develop lifelong coping skills and confidence.

At Mendem, we work with families across DC, Maryland, and Virginia to support children and teens through both lifestyle and therapeutic approaches. If your child is struggling with anxiety, we’re here to help.

Book a Consultation Today